More of my life.

What a life, I feel like I can't even wake up in the morning without having something new happen. I went to see a friend of mine, and thought hmmm maybe I can have a little break from my bull shit life (NO not Keith or Logan) I mean assholes who live around me, or even family, AKA my mom and sister..... I'm tired of no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try and get alone with people, it is never good enough.

I'm tired of feeling like I have to be trapped in my house, because well if I go out, someone always comes up to me and says "Logan did this, and Logan did that" I understand Logan is not the perfect child, in my eyes no kid is perfect, nor is any adult or teen, but I know my child is not doing have the shit people say he is doing, and I'm tired of always being the one they come to, WHY the FUCK can't they grow some balls and come speak to my husband Keith.

It's 4:50am and I'm up, that is enough to piss me off right there, my back is killing me so much I can't sleep, and well all my Dr seams to say is "The best meads for your back, is going for walks, and exercise Yeah a lot that is doing for me, I can't even sleep because the pain is so bad.

I'm tired of Dr's getting paid to do there job's and they never do anything to help. I'M TIRED OF IT. I don't wish this pain on the worse person in this world.

I think I would rather have a baby again, then have this. That's how bad it is and I'm very tired of it. It's so bad, even sharing my husband with me is hard, (SEX) (MAKING LOVE) thats what I mean. It makes my marriage hard. I know my husband understands but it still hurts me.

But as my Dr would say, OH WELL its life. Maybe not in them words but he might as well say that to me because thats how I take it.

I don't mean to sound like I'm the only one out there with problems. I just hate feeling this and I'm tired of all the shit I keep hearing things will get better in due time, I just don't see it or feel it anymore.


Well I think I'm going to sit here and read my book, so I don't get to pissed off and be in more pain thats all I need.